Watch out from "left field".

I know for me in my own life, it is very difficult when things don't mesh together. I'm talking about every day life struggles.  Perhaps "normy's" get through it easier, I'm not sure; perhaps the coping skills of a "non-addictive person/ normy" is more tolerant, has better life skills, has tools that are applied, I don't know!  Whatever the scientific gene is that they, "normy's" have, we or at least I- know, I don't have them! 


This is how it goes for an addict.  Lets just say I have been clean for seven years.  I'm doing everything right, meetings, Church, good support group, Family is good, money issues are back on track, in all general purposes, life is good, Then, something out of left field occurs.  Your best friend, of some 20 years, has just been found dead.  In a rehab facility hospital non-the-less. You then get news that your about to be laid-off, and your oldest daughter tells you she's pregnant. This all happens in the course of about 2-weeks. You make it through all this with the right help, family support, all crisis of "slipping" has been avoided, how; "who-knows". 


Then a few weeks later you find out that the nagging pinched nerve in your back needs surgery. It can't be avoided. You get through it, the surgery was successful. But out of left field comes this new problem, "prescription medication". Your life changes before you know it.  After some time passes, you look back, 10 years have gone by and your still on medication. You are still in pain, but you don't know why.  All I know is, I believe I need the medication. You convince yourself with the Doctor's help.  Little does anyone know, the usage has gotten way out of hand, and no-one needs that much medication.  After another failed marriage and the lose of everything once again. Rehab must again be the answer.  Again, you say, "what happened" how did this hit me, how did I not see this coming, how did I get so bad. 


These are the questions many of us ask ourselves, after the fact of course. The thing we need to watch out for is "everything" our attitude, or health, our surroundings/ environment, our friends, even our strengths and weaknesses.  Balance in life is so important when we are addicts. Even if we aren't addicts. There are going to be times when we least expect "satan will arrive" usually out of left field. There is no way to predict, or keep these events from happening.  But I believe, with balance in our lives, they will be easier to avoid.  Perhaps we may even be more prepared to recognize the demon before or at the time he appears.  


Good luck to you in establishing "balance" in your life, and making certain that history does not repeat itself.


Michael Angelo

Some times you just have to "GIVE BACK"

Most of the time,  in our disease of addiction it's "about us".  What we're going through, how bad were hurting; I know these feelings because I had them all the time.  The issue of addiction is very selfish and "self-consuming". We are constantly the center of attention with our families, and or our "normy" friends.  


Once we get on our path to recovery, we need to start thinking of others and giving back. Believe it or not, there are others out there who need our help and it is good for our own recovery to deflect our mind away from the cravings, the hurt, and the self absorption.  Doing some good for someone else just feels good.  It makes me feel as though my addiction, my issues, my problems, can actually help someone else.


It's like the motto we have all heard "pay it forward". In other words, help someone else because someones else helped me before. I know this takes time, for me personally it took many years before I would even care about helping anyone.  It was always about me.  I thought the world evolved around "ME".  Well guess what, It doesn't. 


So, what I am trying to convey to people out there who have been recovering from their addiction. Reach your hand out and help someone else that may be in that same place we were years ago, months ago, days ago. Addicts respond better to someone that has been through the same kind of Hell.  Hopefully to be able to bring them out of the misery and on to the path of salvation and righteousness.  Just to know that possibly, a life was saved.  Then in turn, another, and another. WOW, what a concept.


May God Bless you all in you personal battle in recovery. Remember, you don't have to do it alone! Were here to talk, blog and share.


Michael Angelo