Some addicts think that because they have had issues all their life they can step on people, take advantage of family, and leech off of everyone. However, being hooked on drugs, booze, porn, or gamblling doesn't give you a license to be cruel and self absorbed, or does it? Addicts are known for their selfishness but when my father was alive during his alcoholic years, he was never like that. He was a giver. Most addicts are takers it seems. My own family members who are addicts cannot see past their own needs which affects the whole family. The division this type of attitude causes is horrific for a family. Not only does it cause sadness and mistrust but it also causes family members to say, "No more"!
Family members do not have to be taken advantage of by the addict just because they are family. God wants us to stand for what it right even if it means cutting your ties to mother, father, sister, or brother. So be it!
Mi Corazon Espinado, a branch of Finaltrypico™, endeavors to reach out to those people suffering with addiction, weather it be; drugs, obesity, pornography, smoking, drinking, you name it. Anything that is holding you back and keeping you from your day-to-day commitments and responsibilities is an "addiction". If you can admit that the addiction is more powerful than you, then you have a problem and you've made the first step.
AMEN,
ReplyDeleteAddiction is a family disease. Anyone that has been through any kind of program understands that. The problem is, everyone else has to learn to live their own lives without being so involved in the addicts life. Try not to let the addicts life run yours. That's what I see happening here. Addicts will always be self-absorbed. Not only is it in their dna, but it's what the program teaches. As long as the addict is not using, the tools are being applied and that's all that matters.
ReplyDeleteI think that is a great idea. However, what would you suggest to do if the addict continues to manipulate, tries to control, lie and cheat, and bad mouth those who help him? Then when you confront it they blame you. The cycle continues because there are those who give in to the manipulation and don't hold that addict accountable.
ReplyDeleteThis causes the addict not to grow and continue in their abuse whether it be drugs, alcohol, or manipulation. Taking from family members and trying to make them feel guilty when they don't do that is inexcusable. Especially if that addict does not admit and take responsibility for what he has done.
An addict who has a “slip” does not necessarily mean that the person has had a complete relapse. It could possibly mean a temporary lapse in changing addictive behavior (Van Vormer & Davis, 2008). However, they ned to ask for help to change that behavior if they care at all about others.
If your sibling states that he is angry because you helped your son rather than him and he tells off that son, it is manipulation. This is also a "lapse" in recovery.