Wide Awake by Katy Perry

"Wide Awake" I'm wide awake I'm wide awake I'm wide awake Yeah, I was in the dark I was falling hard With an open heart I'm wide awake How did I read the stars so wrong? I'm wide awake And now it's clear to me That everything you see Ain't always what it seems I'm wide awake Yeah, I was dreaming for so long [Pre-Chorus] I wish I knew then What I know now Wouldn't dive in Wouldn't bow down Gravity hurts You made it so sweet 'Til I woke up on On the concrete [Chorus] Falling from cloud 9 Crashing from the high I'm letting go tonight Yeah, I'm falling from cloud 9 I'm wide awake Not losing any sleep I picked up every piece And landed on my feet I'm wide awake Need nothing to complete myself, no I'm wide awake Yeah, I am born again Out of the lion's den I don't have to pretend And it's too late The story's over now, the end [Pre-Chorus] I wish I knew then What I know now Wouldn't dive in Wouldn't bow down Gravity hurts You made it so sweet 'Til I woke up on On the concrete [Chorus] Falling from cloud 9 (it was out of the blue) I'm crashing from the high I'm letting go tonight (yeah, I'm letting you go) I'm falling from cloud 9 I'm wide awake Thunder rumbling Castles crumbling I'm wide awake I am trying to hold on I'm wide awake God knows that I tried Seeing the bright side I'm wide awake But I'm not blind anymore... I'm wide awake I'm wide awake [Chorus] Yeah, I'm falling from cloud 9 (it was out of the blue) I'm crashing from the high You know I'm letting go tonight (yeah, I'm letting you go) I'm falling from cloud 9 I'm wide awake I'm wide awake I'm wide awake I'm wide awake I'm wide awake

Flight

My husband and I went and saw Flight last night and afterwards, I felt literally nauseated. If you haven't seen the movie, you might not want to read anymore until after you have seen it. Denzel Washington plays a pilot who learned to fly in the Navy and because of his dad who was part of the Tuskagee Airmen. I'm not sure if this movie is based on a true story but based on the story, I'm sure it has happened before relating to the actual intoxication of the pilot. After the plane crash, "Whip" (Denzel) the pilot is brought up on charges of the plane crash due to his alcohol level that was 2.5 on the tox screen at the hospital along with his girl friend, one of the flight attendants. Fortunately, even though he was wasted and hadn't slept much, he saved all souls (as they refer to the passengers and staff) on the plane except 6. So the manufacturer of the plane didn't want the error on their record so they looked to blame Whip. Finally, because Whip might face time in prison he agrees to let the lawyer of the airline and his superior put him in a hotel to keep him sober. He does great while he stays at his friend's house but once they put him in the hotel with a guard the opportunity arises to drink yet again even though the hearing is to take place the next morning. End of the scene: Whip walks steadily and focuses on the small black frig that is in all hotel rooms and the first thing I feel is, "Oh God No!" Please don't let there be alcohol in that frig!! Thankfully and wisely, the lawyer and rep take the time to empty the frig and fill it with non-alcoholic beverages...whew! I was nervous. He eats his steak dinner and tries to find something to watch on TV but he really isn't OK because he wants a drink real bad. In the middle of the night, he hears knocking at his room and he can't figure out where it is coming from. However, he gets up to check and low and behold, the attached room is where the knocking is coming from. He opens his side of the door and he sees that the other adjoining door is knocking against his door because the window is open and vacant and the wind is causing the knocking on the unclosed door! Scene change: We all knew, the opportunity would come for him to take that drink that would ultimately be the end and there it is again. That little black frig and what it held was keeping the audience on pins and needles. It made me want to yell out, "go back"! "Don't open that frig"! But as you know by now based on what likely happens is that he does open the frig and it is filled with nothing but alcohol. Every possible kind. He takes the small clear bottle of Vodka, opens it slowly, smells it, and ponders in his mind, "Should I drink this"? He slams it down on the top of the frig and you want to cheer! Scene change: The lawyer and the rep knock on the door to get him to the hearing and have coffee in their hands for Whip, but he doesn't answer. All that was going through my head was, please let him be in the shower, please let him open the door. But he doesn't! They open the hotel room door with the extra key that the guard has and then you see it! The room is a mess, bottles everywhere, and there is Whip on the bathroom floor, bleeding! First thought: he's dead! But no, he's not, he's just drunk. So what do they do, they call his addict supplying friend and all they can think of is how can we get him ready for the hearing in an hour. The Coke supplier shows up on the scene and pulls out the Coke! He gets Whip exactly what he needs to pick him up and get him ready to be presentable in his suit walking stable with a band aid on his head from the fall. He sits before the hearing committee and he's doing great but then the final question comes. "Based on the tox screen of your girl friend (stewardess) her tox level was .17, there was no beverage service on the plane due to the horrible turbulence so who drank the 2 small bottles of gin Mr. Whitaker?" He ponders what seems like hours and they all want him to say it was his girlfriend who drank that morning on the plane, but she was dead from the crash, and Whip loved her and this was his defining moment and he remembered what he heard at the short time at the AA meeting that his current girl friend got him to go to~he remembers the alcoholic who was speaking talk about all the lies, and he finally speaks, "NO, she did not drink the the 2 bottles of gin, I did!" And, there you have it. He finally admits his wrongs, states he is drunk and on coke and the room goes silent. Scene change: In prison, he is talking to other addicts and sharing his story, he admits his wrongs again to them and talks about how what he got, the 5 years in prison, losing his pilot's license, and the unforgiveness from some of the families of the deceased and he says, "That was all fair", but for the first time in my life, I am free"! So there you have it! This made me think of all the addicts in my life, my father, my brothers, my sons, my dead boyfriend from my childhood, my ex, and so many more and I begin to get choked up and feel sick. It's Thanksgiving tomorrow and so many people will celebrate with alcohol and drugs, but I will not. I choose not to participate in that even though I have never been an addict, I will not add to the problem for my son or whoever else shows up. I am sick of it all. I am saddened and angry that a liquid and a substance has the power to kill, steal, and destroy my family and those I love and have loved. I pray today and ask you to stand with me as I make this decision not to drink whether or not I'm an addict tomorrow. I pray that addicts and co-dependents everywhere will choose today, right now, not to let the enemy steal from you anymore the life and freedom you could have, that God has waiting for you. God bless you this holiday season! ACA AA Celebrate Recovery Born Again Christian