Staying Sober

Welcome to Fall Folks!

Is it hard staying sober?  I'm not an addict but I have been closely intertwined in the lives of addicts all my life.  Starting with my father, brothers, cousins, nephews, ex-husband, friends, and co-workers. It's horrible to see the struggles.  Coming from a "normie" the struggle is real.  

For the past 10 years, I have had a glass or two of wine a week with my meal.  Recently, I have had to stop that because of a heart problem.  I have AFIB and PSVT.  So when you drink wine or any alcohol, or caffeine it makes the heart palpitations so much worse which effects sleep.

And even though I'm not an alcoholic, it hasn't been easy giving it up.  For one thing, I love the taste of wine.  Its an enjoyable beverage and it does have a lot of benefits.  In fact, I did one of those DNA tests to see what vitamins I need to have optimum health and wine came up as a deficiency. 

According to Google, "Resveratrol is a key nutrient in grapes that may offer health benefits. Grapes are a good source of fiber, potassium, and a range of vitamins and other minerals. Grapes are suitable for people with diabetes, as long as they are accounted for in the diet plan."

So as you can see, I used this information as my reason for not wanting to stop drinking it. I told myself that the heart palpitations were worth the glass. But now, since the AFIB really effects my sleep, I just can't drink much at all.  I know its not the same struggle as an addict but I wanted you all to know that I get it.  If this minuscule issue with one glass a week was hard, I can only imagine what an addict goes through trying to say no to what's not good for them. 

I have seen first hand how alcohol destroys people, their health, their marriage and their relationships.  Its very sad that a substance has that much power.  But how can an addict stop?  I'm sure you have asked that question a million times. The only answer I have seen work long term is that you can only stop with the help of God.  He is the only one that can take away the craving and put you on a new path to health in your body and your relationships.  I know you know this but I feel I need to restate it.

Large amounts of alcohol consumption can destroy your organs and your brain function so why is it hard to stop?  I saw it contribute to my dads struggle with Alzheimer's at the end of his life at 84. It has destroyed my brother's marriage. Now he's alone and sad but still drinking a little.  I am watching it destroy my son's life and his personality when he gets the urge. The only thing I know as a person watching from the outside is that loneliness seems to be the worse contributor to not staying sober. I also think failure is a big culprit too.  

When we self loathe or feel bad about things we are experiencing, its very easy to turn to a substance to help us get through.  But this is the roller coaster ride you never get off of if you take that route.  I know it helps for a minute but that minute isn't worth the end result or the ramifications of that decision to use again. 

An addict, might say it is worth it.  All I know is that its a waste.  Since the devil wants to kill, steal, and destroy.  I know that he uses substances to do this with. Since I hate the devil, I just don't want to give him that option in my life. It comes down to a decision and a will to live and have a healthy life.  I pray that those of you reading this can make that decision for yourself and decide that you want a better life.  There are so many options out there to help you through this good decision to not use. Don't let the devil win. He doesn't deserve your sadness.  But the one thing I want you to know is that no matter if you choose to stop using or not, guess what?  God still loves you and you will still go to heaven when you die. Yep!  It has nothing to do with your addiction.  Isn't that awesome?  He still loves you no matter what.  

Be at peace my friend. All is not lost. You have eternal life in Christ no matter what you do if you believe and accept Him into your heart.  Do that today.  Don't wait until you get sober. That's not the way it works. He wants you to come to Him with your struggles, not without them. He desires to walk this out with you sober or not.  

God bless you as you make that decision to accept his love and friendship.

Carlos Santana Shares How Christ Saved His Life 7 Times

https://www.gospelherald.com/articles/70705/20170530/rock-guitarist-carlos-santana-talks-christian-faith-saved-seven-suicide.htm?fbclid=IwAR2SLrDpajNEbDOng8xHXDwECQffsCEX0XDZE5dgSD7zi31v4-xZHJ1tdmo

15 Steps to Wholeness

https://www.amazon.com/15-Steps-Wholeness-Psalms-Ascent/dp/1534701982

If you're leading a small group or attending a 12 Step group, please consider adding this to your reading.

Dinner With a Former Drunk by Matt McMillen

“Always be prepared to give an answer for the hope that you have. But do so with gentleness and respect”

See 1 Peter 3:15

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A good friend of mine who I grew up with was in town a while back. When he was here, he texted me, and invited me out for dinner. It’s always good to see him and catch up on each other’s lives in person. Social media is great, but there’s nothing quite like having dinner face-to-face with a friend.

As we sat down to order our drinks, I told the server, “I’ll have a Diet Coke,” and my friend hesitated. After eyeing the long list of beers on tap, he asked me, “Do you care if I drink?”

“Of course not.”

“Okay, I’ll have a Boulevard,” which was one of my old favorite beers.

The server came back with our drinks, and he started to ask me some questions about my sobriety.

“Are you sure you don’t care if I drink?” He paused, as he slowly brought the tall beer to his mouth.

“Why would I care?”

“You know…” he hesitated once again, as if he wanted to say, “Because you write books on alcohol abuse.”

“Mike, why would I want to stop you from enjoying a couple beers?” He looked at me strangely as he sat the beer back down after taking a sip. I continued, “If I was allergic to shellfish, do you think I should get upset with you for enjoying a nice bowl of shrimp fettuccini?”

“Well, no.”

“So why should I get upset with you for drinking beer?”

“Ah, okay. I see what you’re saying.”

“Truth be told, in Jesus’ first recorded miracle, He created alcohol. So obviously alcohol is not the problem. It’s the person who turns alcohol into an idol in their lives by replacing their dependance on Christ with alcohol.”

By the look on his face, I could see the cogs start to pick up steam in his head.

“So does Jennifer still drink? That wouldn’t be very fair to you if she did.”

I replied with a smile, “Why wouldn’t it be fair? She’s doesn’t struggle with alcoholism.”

“Oh yeah. I guess you’re right. So you don’t get mad at her when she does drink?”

“Why would I get mad at someone for drinking? First of all, I have no control over that, plus, she doesn’t drink like I did. She has a glass or two of wine, maybe once a week–if that. When I drank, I drank bottles of wine, multiple times a week, usually hers! Heck, I’d drink anything I could get my hands on!”

“Yeah ya did! I remember that!” he exclaimed.

“Exactly! That’s why I don’t do it now!” We both laughed pretty hard, as we both knew how much of a lush I acted like.

“So how long have you been sober now?”

“Over three years, and it feels great. I actually enjoy not drinking. It’s so much better for me.”

“That’s awesome bud,” he said to me proudly.

I finished up the conversation about drinking, “Mike, there is nothing wrong with alcohol, at all. But there is something wrong with me drinking it. I can’t. When I enjoy it, I can’t control it. And when I control it, I can’t enjoy it. So I just don’t drink.”

“I got you, Matt. That’s cool,” and we moved on.

After the awkwardness of the alcohol issue was over, we had a nice dinner, catching up and talking about old times.

A prayer for you: Heavenly Father, thank you for my sobriety. If I had known how much better life would be by me NOT being controlled by a liquid, I would have given it up a long time ago. But even still, you were extremely patient with me as you taught me that getting drunk all the time would never match up with my spirit. Thank you for your grace, thank you for your unconditional love, and thank you for never giving up on me. You stayed committed to me, and I’m so grateful. Right now, I lift up all who are reading this, directly to you. For those who are battling an addiction today–any addiction–help them. Help them to realize that as a believer, you have ALREADY set them free from everything that controls them. All they have to do is live that freedom out! They think they are a prisoner to this thing, but they’re not! That’s a lie from Satan himself! The prison doors are wide open! They are sitting in that cell, and yet, a warm breeze is right outside that doorway! THEY’RE FREE! All they have to do is step out! IT’S OPEN!…Just…step out. They might not KNOW that you’ve freed them, but you have. Reveal this truth to them. Teach them about their freedom, today. In Jesus’ name, amen.

This devotional is from 60 Days for Jesus, Volume 3. Get your copy here!

Michael

Good Evening Followers!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while but life has been throwing me some curve balls these last few years. In 2016, we moved, 2017 my mom passed away and this year Michael was arrested and spent 6 months in jail and is now in a facility but doing really well! I wanted to give you all an update on him because he used to love to post on this blog. He will again soon!

 Anyway, he suffered quite a few mini strokes and because of them, he was like a vegetable in many ways. He would just stay in his room watching tv all day. All he wanted to do was eat and watch television. He started going to the doctors and they suggested he get some brain help by getting therapy but his wife had enough and was just done helping him.

 Years went by and he began to get irritated. He started wanting to go out a bit and buy junk food, get cigarettes, and just have some control back in his life. I guess his brain started coming back to life after a while. He started telling his wife he needed money and she wouldn't give him any of his disability check which was quite large. She kept telling him they couldn't afford it. He started finding ways to get what he needed by sneaking money from her purse, borrowing from a neighbor, and just bugging her. She started giving him $40 a month which was not enough.

He eventually would share with me that he was getting tired of feeling like a prisoner in his own home. I suggested to him to go to the bank and put his money back into his own account but he just never did it. I don't now if he was scared, or just didn't know where the bank was. It started to really eat away at him though. He started telling me that he wanted to leave her and a few months later he asked me if he could move in with me or my son. We tried to make it work out for him but he was so anxious that he just couldn't wait anymore. He packed his suitcase and told his wife that he wanted his money, the keys to the car, and his ID. Her and her daughters kept ignoring his requests and telling him to wait a few more months. He just could not do it. He was wasting away and getting more and more angry.

A few weeks later, he finally had had it and he threatened her after she again put him off. He ended up holding a knife up to her to scare her and she called the police. He ran from the house before the police arrived but he had taken her phone too. He called her on the land line I guess and she told him to come back. He was scared and so he did. He was arrested and it looked pretty bad for him mainly due to taking the cell phone. She told the police that she didn't want him in jail but that he needed help and needed to be in a facility.

 The DA and his public defender and the judge finally agreed after I wrote a letter to the judge, and a professional medical evaluation, and a letter from Michael to the judge. Thank God they listened because jail was not what he needed. He spent 6 months and I had to intervene a few times and get him transferred due to his inability to follow rules due to his memory. He was scared and they decided to take me seriously and moved him to LA where he got help.

He is now in a facility doing really well learning a lot, going to meetings, and working the program. He's been there 3 months and he is on his first weekend out on his own. He called me and was so excited to have some freedom. He has had his money back since he entered the facility and he has even paid off a tax debt and is excited to make agreements to pay off his medical bills. Him and his wife will never see each other again unless its in court for a divorce. He's glad about that because together they were very unhealthy. I'm so proud of how far he's come.

I share this story to tell you that if he can come back to life after such a scary 9 months and the prison like life he had living in his home then you can too. Don't give up hope. Don't resort to threats, get help, get your life back and ask for help. You are loved. God bless you, Lilia

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