Grief During the Holidays

 The Lowest Point

Day 115

“The bottom is a lot deeper than you would even think,” says Dr. John Trent.

If you feel as if these dark days will never pass, we want to assure you that there is hope because of Jesus. He suffered and died and rose again on the third day.

Those early disciples saw Jesus put to death on a cross and were as hopeless as anyone ever was. All their dreams and hopes died with Him. Yet when they saw Jesus alive from the dead, it changed everything.

Even during the heaviest, most hurtful times of your grieving experience, you, too, can share the hope that only Jesus brings.

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure” (Hebrews 6:19).

Jesus, my hope is in You. Amen.

Griefshare.org

https://www.griefshare.org/?utm_campaign=Day115&utm_medium=email&utm_source=ASeasonofGrief

DOPESICK

 I've been watching this new program on Hulu and thought it would be beneficial for this group to mention it.  If you want to see the real effects of opioids on humanity, then watch this series. If you are sensitive to watching people go through this hell, then I don't recommend watching it. OC or oxy i.e oxycodone is highly addictive, please only use it as directed. Once your doctor tells you to increase your dosage, you are in trouble and should stop using it because that means its not working for you for pain management. It is not meant for long term usage because your tolerance to it increases over a short amount of time and you become addicted.  

God bless you. And may the Lord Jesus heal you and comfort you. 

https://youtu.be/EzrLrUG2QVk 

 

Plan Ahead to Enjoy Sober Celebrations

 

Whether it’s a get-together with friends or an upcoming “drinking” holiday like Halloween, New Year’s Eve, Cinco de Mayo, or St. Patrick’s Day, we’ve gotten used to equating celebrating with alcohol. For those who can approach drinking with moderation, this may not be a problem. But for those who have embraced a sober lifestyle, it can be a drag to be constantly reminded that you aren’t consuming, while it seems like everyone else is. With some conscious insight and a little preparation, you can go into these get-togethers prepared. And on days when the whole world is drinking, you can even make some money.

 

Planning for the Night: Saying “No”

 

You’ve certainly heard the phrase “a good defense is the best offense.” Use this philosophy to prepare yourself for any difficult situations you may encounter. Your friends should know your position by now, but there will likely always be that one pestering friend who keeps nagging you to have “just one.” You don’t necessarily have to cut people like that out of your life, but it is a good idea to be straight with them.

 

On the bright side, your friends will often appreciate having a designated driver. As long as you’re comfortable hanging out with them while they drink, and as long as you’re okay with that role, it can be mutually beneficial. They’ll be glad to have you to fall back on as you’re there to prevent them from making bad decisions.

 

Over time, however, it will definitely be nice to have a sober friend or two, or even a group of sober friends, so that there’s not always that temptation and that divide. When New Year’s rolls around and you stay up together, but also support each other, that can be really special.

 

What to Do About Those “Drinking” Holidays

 

●       Embrace the true spirit of the holiday - What’s more important about Halloween -- taking your kids trick-or-treating or drinking? That’s easy. Can you wear green and listen to Irish music on St. Patrick’s Day without getting hammered? Of course. Can you celebrate a birthday without drinking? These kinds of celebrations can make you remember the good times that can be had, which is an important part of maintaining balance between different aspects of your life and staying focused on your priorities. But it’s also an opportunity to renew your commitment to your sober lifestyle and make new memories. Because, let’s face it, something about you and drinking didn’t get along, and that’s what got you here. It’s worth it to not be that person anymore.

●       Make Money as a Designated Driver - You’ve been the designated driver for your friends. Why not take it on the road as a side gig? If you want to avoid the parties but also want to help out, rideshare companies are busiest during the times when the most people are out drinking, and that’s when they charge surge prices, and the drivers take a cut. At New Year’s everyone wants a ride home shortly after midnight and the drivers can make one hundred dollars or more in the first hour of the year.

●       Celebrate at Home - You’ve probably been sober long enough to figure this one out. All the things people put up with to go out - dressing up, finding parking, waiting in a line just to stand around in a crowded bar - it’s not really worth it. But you can do something special at home. A special dinner is always a great way to celebrate.

 

●       Volunteer for Fun - Your community probably has plenty of events and activities going on that need responsible people like you with which to help. Signing up to volunteer gives you a fun, safe activity to do while giving back to your friends and neighbors. Find a volunteering event near you here.

 

 

Staying sober is a daily commitment, especially around the holidays. Celebrations can make it more difficult. But when it’s over and you’ve been true to who you want to be and maybe even helped someone else out, it will feel like an accomplishment.

By Mary Shannon

 

Mi Corazon Espinado (My Thorned Heart) is here to help people struggling with addiction -- whether it be to drugs, alcohol, pornography, or anything else by sharing inspiring testimonials of grief, struggle, and success.

Griefshare

 Men in Grief

Day 35

As you go through life, you fight stereotypes and popular misconceptions. Several notions exist about how “real men” should act in different situations.

Take a moment to identify your own ideas about how men should “handle” grief. When did you form this opinion? Who modeled this behavior for you? Who might be looking to you as a role model?

Here are some comments from men who have experienced grief:

“In our culture especially,” says Rev. Noel Castellanos, “the whole macho thing is very prevalent. I think men are afraid to express their feelings. We haven’t had too many people show us how to do that. I remember being very moved when I first became a believer as I saw strong Christian men who had the ability to cry and share their weakness and hurt.”

Virgil, whose wife died, observes, “Men, as little kids, are told not to cry and it carries through. To solve this problem, fathers should let their little boys cry. It doesn’t hurt a thing. It’s an emotion God gives us.”

“Christ was a man’s man,” says Jim Grassi. “Eight of the twelve disciples were fishermen. At times, the disciples wept and they felt grief. They had all the normal emotions that God intended people to have.”

David, a warrior and king, pours out his emotions to God throughout the Psalms: “I am bowed down and brought very low; all day long I go about mourning…. I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart…. For I am about to fall, and my pain is ever with me” (Psalm 38:6, 8, 17).

Almighty God, let my prayer be like David’s prayers. Teach me what manhood really is. Open my heart and mind to want this change. Amen.

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Grieving with Hope
This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they’re grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope.

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Feeling the Need to Be in Control

Day 36

When life seems to be spinning out of control, you may grasp whatever reins you can find and hang on. Holding those reins gives you a sense of being in control, not only of your life but, more specifically, of your emotions. Emotions can be frightening because they are the least controllable aspect of your nature. Men in particular feel the need to be in control.

“Most men are high on control,” says Jim Grassi. “When tragedy strikes, it’s a loss of control. You realize just how small you are in the scheme of things and that God is really the One in control. You must release that control and give it back to God and allow Him the full authority in your life.”

As long as you are fighting God for control, you will be the loser. Let it all go. Tell Him today that you are tired of fighting, that you want Him to have full authority in your life.

“The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace” (Romans 8:6).

Holy Spirit, I long for that life and peace. This fight to be strong has depleted the last of my so-called resources. Take my life and lead me on the journey of healing. Amen.