Father's Day Weekend

I have a question for all you recovering addicts out there. Is it a good idea to have a beer once a week? How about a few beers one day a week?  I thought that if you were an addict, you are not supposed to drink at all??  Father's Day weekend, I was with my family and there were three men that are supposed to be recovering addicts but they had a beer(s).  I felt like it was wrong but I don't run their program. It's not my job to be their sponsor, or their conscience.  I feel like some people who are addicted to pills maybe can have a beer once a week and it won't affect their sobriety. I know some people who are recovering will not agree with this because more than likely, once you start with a beer, you go to the next thing.  I have watched these men handle their drinking but I do feel it affects other things like attitude, health, and driving ability.  I guess time will tell the real true answer to my question but if it were me, I don't think I would risk it. Then there's the other question, if you know someone is a recovering alcoholic or drug user, do you drink in front of them?  I think it's best not to tempt them.  Will God hold us accountable for making our neighbor fall?  Yes, He will!  We are our brother's keeper. Or are we? 

Like a thief in the night.

Addiction is like a thief in the night. One day after years of what is seemingly- innocent partying every now and then,  then suddenly it seems, turns into not being able to do anything without including alcohol or some mind altering substance. I stop and think, damn, how long have I been doing this. I think back and reminisce a little on past experiences, some good and some bad.  Perhaps even an accident or a DUI may have been included.  Maybe I even went to treatment once or twice, always because someone else wanted me to. The children, now grown don't really talk to you that much any more. Your wife of 25 years was the last one to finally give up on you.


So I think, what the hell happened. Now I find myself alone with my own conscience. No one to tell me what to do or how to do it. It's just me and my thoughts-  alone. Now I have to drink or use just to keep the demons out of my head. Why, because what else is there. The enjoyment of "the old days" are long gone. I use now only to numb the feelings of the past.  It has even become more and more difficult to stay in the same job or even the same line of work. I think back when I was somebody, employers being excited about me coming on-board with their company. Now what, I'm working in this dive office or factory just to pay the bills, or I'm not even working at all because I am like the plague.  No one wants me anymore because of the damage I've done. I can't hide it anymore.


There are only two alternative when we as addicts get to this point.  A. Recovery with the acceptance that we have a problem. or, B. live alone a little longer and die. 


What choice will you make today?


May God be with you.


Michael Angelo

Old Habits, Co-Dependancy

In our sickness of addiction we, I mean me had become quite selfish. I was always my number one topic, and why wasn't everyone talking about me, or helping me, or putting me first. Damn that sounds awful just thinking about it. This can also be an issue with our significant others. Since they were put in the back-seat so often, they may feel NOW that it's time for the "ME" season. Or, It's about time someone thought of me. These habits are hard to break.


Well, these thoughts and feelings, are somewhat valid. they are also sick co-dependant irrational behaviors of the co-dependant.  We all had choices in the addict/ co-dependant relationship. No one was forcing us to stay in that sick relationship. I have heard it all- believe me. "I didn't want to end the sacred vow of marriage" or "If I would have left, he or she would have died" or "I did it for the children" It's all bull-shit, any way you slice it, it's still crap!


What the co-dependant should do is,  A. give an ultimatum. B. follow through. C. Let the addict heal, while you do the same. This is anything but selfish, it's survival.  It's hell out there. If you choose to stay in an addictive relationship, you deserve "everything" your going through- period!


Co-dependency can be ten times worse that the addict himself.  Why, because they have the fact of not being an addict. when in fact "they are" their drug of choice just so happens to be another human being, and "control" which is the worse form of sickness on the planet. Because "YOU CAN'T WIN"! No-one can control, change or influence an addict. No one but God himself. That's when the spiritual awakening happens, and it can't happen when there's a controlling co-dependant around.


There are us addicts out there who are also co-dependant. Damn I feel sorry for that person.  This is a job for God and his team of Angels. But there is hope for these people as well. 


There's "always" hope.


Thank you, 


Michael Angelo

Brain Damage

I guess I thought that after all those years of drinking and using, I would be fine.  Well I guessed wrong. I remember my mind was quick and responsive, now, not so much. I remember being able to recall specific events in my life so as to enlighten others, now, not so much. I remember when I could win or at least be second at trivial pursuit, now, not so much. Hell I can't even remember specific partying times that were once so cool to bring up. 


Yeah, the brain and the ability to remember, the knowledge I once had, it's mostly gone. I can only recall snippets of events, that is to say I remember being there.  Our brain cells, billions and billions eventually get dwindled down to nothing, and they are "irreplaceable". Thankfully I stopped when I did, but the effects are still there. Sometimes people ask me, do you have  a clue? I have to think about the question for a moment. In my mind I'm thinking, clue about what!  I already forgot the question.


This can be avoided by stopping a lot earlier in life. That's the only advise I could give. Don't do what I did. That's all!


Michael Angelo

Why a "thorned" heart?

Maybe some of you are wondering why we chose this name for our site and our blogspot? Team Filantrypico chose this name because when you listen to the song by Santana, the song talks about a love that is now gone and how it hurts so badly. He cries out to his mama, but that doesn't help. He continues throughout the whole song crying out about his thorned heart.

The same thing happens when you let go and let God. Letting go is the hardest thing we will ever do. We will cry out when we let go. Letting go of an addiction, a loved one that's bad for you, or a thing that has overtaken you, it hurts.

However, there's hope!  Letting go will leave room for something greater.  If we choose to go down the road of recovery and not make the same mistakes, then and only then will beautiful things take the place of that horrible pain.

Trust God to bring you what you need. He knows what you need and when you need it.

Keep coming back it works~

Filantrypico President

Bronwen Healy

I went to a CR (Celebrate Recovery) meeting last night up the street at First Christian Church because they had a special guest speaker.  Her name is Bronwen Healy.  She is from Australia and she has written a couple books about her testimony and what it means to "inch closer to God".  She was amazing!  Her story is courageous and she is not much different than the rest of us who either had or have addictions or has or had "issues". 

The thing she kept saying that resonated in me was, " Your past is not your future".  But I guess it can be if we choose not to respond to the call to change.  I definitely don't want my past to be my future.  I pray that as each one of you wake up each day that you make that decision to say what Bronwen says-"What I did, is not who I am." 

Be blessed today.
What can you do for God today?

Filantrypico President

People we hurt...

An addict doesn't know or want to face the fact of being responsible for hurting anyone else. It's the last topic I wanted to face, I know that. I just thought everyone around me would just go about on their marry way. Oops, big mistake, here's a clue of how many family members become affected.


My mother and father, all my siblings, my wife and 4-children, my nieces and nephews, In my case about 5-6 teenage to adults kids. My employer if,  I am still employed. That equates to about 15-19 people. Not to mention others that were praying for my recovery through family request.


But that is just me, there are other people that had huge families. I only want the people out there to realize the impact of addiction to others. That's why there are interventions. My immediate Family tried this on me, it didn't work because I was not ready. I had not hit my bottom yet.


Your bottom doesn't have to be like mine. Believe me when I tell you that the de-tox was hell, but the rewards are Heavenly. I always think about others suffering. I will never forget that time in my life. The new beginning, new sober friends, finding new things to do without using. All the new things that go along with living a drug-free lifestyle.


Thank you, I hope and pray your bottom is up a little higher than mine was


Michael Angelo