Like a thief in the night.

Addiction is like a thief in the night. One day after years of what is seemingly- innocent partying every now and then,  then suddenly it seems, turns into not being able to do anything without including alcohol or some mind altering substance. I stop and think, damn, how long have I been doing this. I think back and reminisce a little on past experiences, some good and some bad.  Perhaps even an accident or a DUI may have been included.  Maybe I even went to treatment once or twice, always because someone else wanted me to. The children, now grown don't really talk to you that much any more. Your wife of 25 years was the last one to finally give up on you.


So I think, what the hell happened. Now I find myself alone with my own conscience. No one to tell me what to do or how to do it. It's just me and my thoughts-  alone. Now I have to drink or use just to keep the demons out of my head. Why, because what else is there. The enjoyment of "the old days" are long gone. I use now only to numb the feelings of the past.  It has even become more and more difficult to stay in the same job or even the same line of work. I think back when I was somebody, employers being excited about me coming on-board with their company. Now what, I'm working in this dive office or factory just to pay the bills, or I'm not even working at all because I am like the plague.  No one wants me anymore because of the damage I've done. I can't hide it anymore.


There are only two alternative when we as addicts get to this point.  A. Recovery with the acceptance that we have a problem. or, B. live alone a little longer and die. 


What choice will you make today?


May God be with you.


Michael Angelo