Search This Blog

Friday, April 17, 2020

Michael - RIP

I have sad new to share during this pandemic time in our strange world.

 My brother, Michael Sedano, my best friend, passed away on or about April 13, 2020 at 11:45am. The date and time could change in the future because he was alone at the Sands Motel in Yucca Valley when it happened.

Mike suffered many years with back pain due to an injury from when he worked as a welder for Challenge Cook Bros in Hacienda Heights. He also battled depression due to the many deaths of his very close friends while we were growing up. This led to addiction and eventually mini strokes, cognitive delays and selective memory loss and other health issues.

We were inseparable as kids and even into adulthood. We protected and defended each other until the end even though we had a few falling outs. I was his confidant and I loved him deeply. He knew he could share anything with me. He had one great love on earth but it never came to be.

Mike thrived on making people laugh and helping out. He was definitely a lover, not a fighter. But he is finally at peace with his youngest son Michael, my mom and dad, as well as our famous uncle and all his buddy’s from the neighborhood in heaven. I’m sure they are partying up there while we’re shut in.

I will miss him greatly but so happy for him in eternity with Jesus in everlasting joy. I know we will embrace again.

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Corona Virus (COVID 19)

Dear Readers:

I know that many of you are concerned about the Corona Virus that's going around all over the world.  I am too!  However, there are things we can do to help ourselves to not 'freak out'!  The main thing we all need to do is wash our hands, use our hand sanitizer, and stay away from people who are sick or if you're sick, please stay home.

The other thing that is important to those of you who are battling addictions during this time as well as not getting sick, is to remember to pray.  Praying can release endorphins that relax you and help you to feel that a power greater than yourself is there for you. Staying informed by reading research and information that is fact and not fiction can also help to calm you.  Fear is not the answer to handling any situation.  

Fear is the opposite of faith and faith is what keeps you free from blowing your sobriety.  If you need help, need to talk, or just need someone to agree with you in prayer, reach out!

Leave a comment and someone will contact you.

God bless you,
Lil

What I've Learned After 5 Year's of Sobriety by Matt McMillen

Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
James 1:4

There are moments in our lives when we decide to stop or start a certain behavior, or willingly change an attitude we’ve held onto for a long time. For me, today marks an anniversary of such a change. Five years ago, May 8th, 2014, was a day like any other. Except now, I would never drink another drop of alcohol for the rest of my life.
Many people believe those who struggle with alcoholism are weak. If you said that to me five years ago, I’d reply, “You are wrong.” From outward appearances, I was anything but weak. I had built an extremely successful business, I had a family, a nice home, I stayed in shape, I enjoyed fun hobbies and ate good meals. I even had a very large social media ministry. But underneath, when it came to my life without drinking, oh yeah, I was weak.
I simply could not picture myself enjoying myself without consuming my favorite beers or shots. Each time my unrenewed, immature mind thought about quitting, anxiety would hit me. The buzz from alcoholic beverages “made everything better.” Life would not be that great if I couldn’t experience being tipsy any longer. Even though tipsy times were mostly drunk times–not just tipsy–my main problem was this:
How do I perceive myself?
Now this is what makes everything better! Not drinking, but knowing our identity! When we struggle with thinking we need to drink, we have an identity issue. Not that our drinking causes our identity to change; as a Christian, that’s impossible. No amount of drunkenness, which is sin, can override the blood of Jesus. That perfect red liquid is much stronger than my Miller Lite and American Honey.
But I didn’t fully understand the gospel, yet, so I didn’t fully understand my identity, yet. As a result, I didn’t really know how to perceive myself. So I kept drinking.
When we know who we are–like, honestly know what the Cross has truly done to us–that’s it, game over. Our perception about ourselves changes our entire lifestyle. The legalist is focused on not sinning, but the saint is focused on expressing their righteousness. The legalist will yell, “You can’t just do whatever you want!” but the saint says, “Yes I can, because I want what God wants.” We actually believe this and live it out!
It’s clear to us when we don’t live it out because the Spirit bears witness to our spirit when we’re faking our identity. When we sin, we are being phonies. Frauds. We have literally died to sin. We have literally been taken out of sin and placed into the Spirit of Christ (see Romans 6:3-11, 8:9-11, Galatians 3:27, Colossians 3:3, 1 Corinthians 6:17).
Yes, literally–not figuratively–and I’m going to use that word again shortly. I am talking about your spirit, friend.
What’s more is all Christians are saints, equally. Saint simply means holy one, and that is what the Cross has caused us to become by grace through faith (see Colossians 1:22, Hebrews 10:10, Ephesians 2:8,9). When we know we’ve been recreated to not sin, to not get drunk, enjoying sobriety is an amazing thing! You’re not missing the booze because you know that’s like putting sugar in your gas tank. Yeah, some people can drink normally, but we can’t, and we know it. So we don’t. The power of sin influences us differently over this issue, and we’re at peace with that.
When our perception of who we are changes, anything that is not of faith won’t work for us. Getting drunk is not of faith. Not just getting drunk, but refusing to forgive others, flirting on social media as a married person, watching porn, constantly trying to prove your worth to others, cherry-picking “less than” sins, trying to follow the Law of Moses, codependency, people-pleasing, looking to church attendance for kudos from God, pastoral worship–even tithing to be blessed, as if God is a loan shark–all of this stuff was being purged up and out of my thought life by the Spirit within.
Today marks the five-year anniversary of a new beginning in my thinking about who I amThoughts are what cause us to drink. Change our thoughts, change our lives. It’s so simple it’s hard to fathom.
To be clear, when we stop drinking we don’t change. As believers we’ve been changed, once. Born again, once. Yes, our actions and attitudes change but not us–not our identity. Good, bad, or indifferent, we are not what we do or don’t do. Instead, we mature and grow into who we already are–into our sainthood. A sapling oak tree is an oak tree, just immature. It never changes, it grows. We are members of heaven, children of God, just very immature from the time of our supernatural rebirth. We are not changing but growing. As we grow, we break free from the sinful choices and attitudes which entangle us but we are not those sins. The Bible says the old has gone and the new is here! Even better, our full maturation will not be complete until we shed this shell of flesh, so go easy on yourself! (See Hebrews 12:1,2, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Philippians 1:6).
Many self-centered people will say we weren’t truly saved until we stopped drinking. But such is folly in the fullest and spits on the work of the Cross. We don’t stop sinning to get saved, so we don’t stay stopped sinning to stay saved. If this were the case, every human being would be doomed because all of us die with sin we still struggle with. If we say we don’t struggle with any sin, that’s sin in itself compounded with lying–which is sinning. A healthy amount of repentance would do a person good with this kind of mindset.
Others will claim, “You got delivered from a spirit of alcoholism!” No. Sorry. That didn’t happen either. No demonic spirit has had permission to touch me since the time I was saved as a young boy. The Bible is clear that no demon can have any contact with my body or spirit, all they can do is accuse me in my mind of not being who I am (see 1 John 5:18, Revelation 12:10). We have to stop giving the devil so much credit. He was de-clawed, de-toothed, and disarmed at the Cross.
The only thing the demonic realm can do to me is lie to me about my holiness, they can’t possess me. I’m literally possessed by the Spirit of Jesus Christ. He’ll never share me with a demon. So “deliverance from alcoholic spirits” makes no sense for a Christian. For an unbeliever? Yes, and those spirits after being cast out will come back with more evil spirits (see Luke 11:24-26). But we believers don’t need to worry about that. We simply need our minds renewed to who already indwells us–God. There’s not a single passage in the Bible about a believer having demon cast out of them–even a spirit of addiction. We are sealed up with the Holy Spirit forever and He guards the door! (See Ephesians 1:13).
I’ve learned a lot in the past five years, most of the common alcoholic phrases have been deciphered through the Spirit within me. I wish I knew then what I know now, but that’s okay. God takes us from glory to glory as we learn more about who we are as His kids. Here’s what I’d say to myself if I was sitting across from myself, on this day, five years ago, when I was 32:
“Hi buddy. I know you’re scared and anxious. I know you’ve tried a thousand times to quit, but this time you won’t just quit. You’ll begin living the life you were meant to live all along! Be aware, the bad thoughts will come, the temptations will come, and the pain will come too. Feel your pain. Feel it. Feel it, and lean into the comfort of Christ. Scream. Cry. Hurt. Feeeeeeel! You must feel. When you do, you will become weak. But this is where your strength will come from–through your pain, through your weakness. Soon enough you’ll feel weaker than you ever have before, but that weakness will be the greatest thing you’ve ever felt before. Your mind is about to be renewed to the truth of who you are, which will be very painful to your old thoughts. Over time this will make more sense, so be patient as the Spirit guides you. Your weakness is where His grace will rest the most as He teaches you new thoughts to have about yourself, Him, and others. Weakness is good. The Spirit is your friend who holds nothing against you. Let Him love you and don’t fight it.
Please remember that on your very worst day of pain you’ll still be able to say, ‘But I didn’t drink.’ Imagine that! I’m so proud of you! If you could only see five years down the road! You are about to do more than you’ve ever done before–and for the right reasons! You’ll begin to do absolutely everything from a state of rest! I know you don’t understand that yet, but you will! You’ll write those books! Five of them so far! Bestsellers! You’ll reach millions each week through your social media platforms! You’ll learn how to have the deepest, most fulfilling marriage with Jennifer! She’ll see you completely different than she does right now! Grace will get the best of you! She is such an awesome 14-year-old! You’ll enjoy the little things you keep overlooking! But more than anything, you’ll learn about the New Covenant. Oh if you only knew now! Your perception of who you are is about to change! False humility is going to be an afterthought–you’ll never talk bad about yourself again! Stressing out about spreading the gospel and saving the world will be no more! You’ll enjoy being a branch and you’ll stop trying to be the Vine! Religious headstones will be kicked over left and right by you! Legalistic people will be mad, but you’ll learn how to show them love and respect! This is what will change their hearts toward the truth! Gentleness! Who would’ve thought?! THE JOURNEY YOU’RE ABOUT TO EMBARK ON, SOBER, WILL BLOW YOUR MIND! Who you truly are is about to be revealed to you on levels you could’ve never imagined before. So don’t worry, don’t be afraid, this is just the beginning.”
A prayer for you: Heavenly Father, look at what we’ve done! You and me together is an amazing force! Thank you for helping me make it this far! I’m so grateful for your strength and for teaching me who I am! Right now, I lift up all who are reading this, directly to you. For those who are stuck in an addiction, set them free in their minds. Guide their perception about themselves into the right direction. Teach them about the power of Jesus Christ. Reveal the New Covenant in even greater ways. In His name I pray, amen. 
This devotional is from The Christian Identity, Volume 2. Get your copy here!

Monday, November 4, 2019

Staying Sober

Welcome to Fall Folks!

Is it hard staying sober?  I'm not an addict but I have been closely intertwined in the lives of addicts all my life.  Starting with my father, brothers, cousins, nephews, ex-husband, friends, and co-workers. It's horrible to see the struggles.  Coming from a "normie" the struggle is real.  

For the past 10 years, I have had a glass or two of wine a week with my meal.  Recently, I have had to stop that because of a heart problem.  I have AFIB and PSVT.  So when you drink wine or any alcohol, or caffeine it makes the heart palpitations so much worse which effects sleep.

And even though I'm not an alcoholic, it hasn't been easy giving it up.  For one thing, I love the taste of wine.  Its an enjoyable beverage and it does have a lot of benefits.  In fact, I did one of those DNA tests to see what vitamins I need to have optimum health and wine came up as a deficiency. 

According to Google, "Resveratrol is a key nutrient in grapes that may offer health benefits. Grapes are a good source of fiber, potassium, and a range of vitamins and other minerals. Grapes are suitable for people with diabetes, as long as they are accounted for in the diet plan."

So as you can see, I used this information as my reason for not wanting to stop drinking it. I told myself that the heart palpitations were worth the glass. But now, since the AFIB really effects my sleep, I just can't drink much at all.  I know its not the same struggle as an addict but I wanted you all to know that I get it.  If this minuscule issue with one glass a week was hard, I can only imagine what an addict goes through trying to say no to what's not good for them. 

I have seen first hand how alcohol destroys people, their health, their marriage and their relationships.  Its very sad that a substance has that much power.  But how can an addict stop?  I'm sure you have asked that question a million times. The only answer I have seen work long term is that you can only stop with the help of God.  He is the only one that can take away the craving and put you on a new path to health in your body and your relationships.  I know you know this but I feel I need to restate it.

Large amounts of alcohol consumption can destroy your organs and your brain function so why is it hard to stop?  I saw it contribute to my dads struggle with Alzheimer's at the end of his life at 84. It has destroyed my brother's marriage. Now he's alone and sad but still drinking a little.  I am watching it destroy my son's life and his personality when he gets the urge. The only thing I know as a person watching from the outside is that loneliness seems to be the worse contributor to not staying sober. I also think failure is a big culprit too.  

When we self loathe or feel bad about things we are experiencing, its very easy to turn to a substance to help us get through.  But this is the roller coaster ride you never get off of if you take that route.  I know it helps for a minute but that minute isn't worth the end result or the ramifications of that decision to use again. 

An addict, might say it is worth it.  All I know is that its a waste.  Since the devil wants to kill, steal, and destroy.  I know that he uses substances to do this with. Since I hate the devil, I just don't want to give him that option in my life. It comes down to a decision and a will to live and have a healthy life.  I pray that those of you reading this can make that decision for yourself and decide that you want a better life.  There are so many options out there to help you through this good decision to not use. Don't let the devil win. He doesn't deserve your sadness.  But the one thing I want you to know is that no matter if you choose to stop using or not, guess what?  God still loves you and you will still go to heaven when you die. Yep!  It has nothing to do with your addiction.  Isn't that awesome?  He still loves you no matter what.  

Be at peace my friend. All is not lost. You have eternal life in Christ no matter what you do if you believe and accept Him into your heart.  Do that today.  Don't wait until you get sober. That's not the way it works. He wants you to come to Him with your struggles, not without them. He desires to walk this out with you sober or not.  

God bless you as you make that decision to accept his love and friendship.












Saturday, September 7, 2019

Carlos Santana Shares How Christ Saved His Life 7 Times

https://www.gospelherald.com/articles/70705/20170530/rock-guitarist-carlos-santana-talks-christian-faith-saved-seven-suicide.htm?fbclid=IwAR2SLrDpajNEbDOng8xHXDwECQffsCEX0XDZE5dgSD7zi31v4-xZHJ1tdmo

Sunday, August 11, 2019

Wednesday, August 7, 2019

Dinner With a Former Drunk by Matt McMillen

“Always be prepared to give an answer for the hope that you have. But do so with gentleness and respect”
See 1 Peter 3:15

A good friend of mine who I grew up with was in town a while back. When he was here, he texted me, and invited me out for dinner. It’s always good to see him and catch up on each other’s lives in person. Social media is great, but there’s nothing quite like having dinner face-to-face with a friend.
As we sat down to order our drinks, I told the server, “I’ll have a Diet Coke,” and my friend hesitated. After eyeing the long list of beers on tap, he asked me, “Do you care if I drink?”
“Of course not.”
“Okay, I’ll have a Boulevard,” which was one of my old favorite beers.
The server came back with our drinks, and he started to ask me some questions about my sobriety.
“Are you sure you don’t care if I drink?” He paused, as he slowly brought the tall beer to his mouth.
“Why would I care?”
“You know…” he hesitated once again, as if he wanted to say, “Because you write books on alcohol abuse.”
“Mike, why would I want to stop you from enjoying a couple beers?” He looked at me strangely as he sat the beer back down after taking a sip. I continued, “If I was allergic to shellfish, do you think I should get upset with you for enjoying a nice bowl of shrimp fettuccini?”
“Well, no.”
“So why should I get upset with you for drinking beer?”
“Ah, okay. I see what you’re saying.”
“Truth be told, in Jesus’ first recorded miracle, He created alcohol. So obviously alcohol is not the problem. It’s the person who turns alcohol into an idol in their lives by replacing their dependance on Christ with alcohol.”
By the look on his face, I could see the cogs start to pick up steam in his head.
“So does Jennifer still drink? That wouldn’t be very fair to you if she did.”
I replied with a smile, “Why wouldn’t it be fair? She’s doesn’t struggle with alcoholism.”
“Oh yeah. I guess you’re right. So you don’t get mad at her when she does drink?”
“Why would I get mad at someone for drinking? First of all, I have no control over that, plus, she doesn’t drink like I did. She has a glass or two of wine, maybe once a week–if that. When I drank, I drank bottles of wine, multiple times a week, usually hers! Heck, I’d drink anything I could get my hands on!”
“Yeah ya did! I remember that!” he exclaimed.
“Exactly! That’s why I don’t do it now!” We both laughed pretty hard, as we both knew how much of a lush I acted like.
“So how long have you been sober now?”
“Over three years, and it feels great. I actually enjoy not drinking. It’s so much better for me.”
“That’s awesome bud,” he said to me proudly.
I finished up the conversation about drinking, “Mike, there is nothing wrong with alcohol, at all. But there is something wrong with me drinking it. I can’t. When I enjoy it, I can’t control it. And when I control it, I can’t enjoy it. So I just don’t drink.”
“I got you, Matt. That’s cool,” and we moved on.
After the awkwardness of the alcohol issue was over, we had a nice dinner, catching up and talking about old times.
A prayer for you: Heavenly Father, thank you for my sobriety. If I had known how much better life would be by me NOT being controlled by a liquid, I would have given it up a long time ago. But even still, you were extremely patient with me as you taught me that getting drunk all the time would never match up with my spirit. Thank you for your grace, thank you for your unconditional love, and thank you for never giving up on me. You stayed committed to me, and I’m so grateful. Right now, I lift up all who are reading this, directly to you. For those who are battling an addiction today–any addiction–help them. Help them to realize that as a believer, you have ALREADY set them free from everything that controls them. All they have to do is live that freedom out! They think they are a prisoner to this thing, but they’re not! That’s a lie from Satan himself! The prison doors are wide open! They are sitting in that cell, and yet, a warm breeze is right outside that doorway! THEY’RE FREE! All they have to do is step out! IT’S OPEN!…Just…step out. They might not KNOW that you’ve freed them, but you have. Reveal this truth to them. Teach them about their freedom, today. In Jesus’ name, amen.
This devotional is from 60 Days for Jesus, Volume 3. Get your copy here!