Griefshare

 Men in Grief

Day 35

As you go through life, you fight stereotypes and popular misconceptions. Several notions exist about how “real men” should act in different situations.

Take a moment to identify your own ideas about how men should “handle” grief. When did you form this opinion? Who modeled this behavior for you? Who might be looking to you as a role model?

Here are some comments from men who have experienced grief:

“In our culture especially,” says Rev. Noel Castellanos, “the whole macho thing is very prevalent. I think men are afraid to express their feelings. We haven’t had too many people show us how to do that. I remember being very moved when I first became a believer as I saw strong Christian men who had the ability to cry and share their weakness and hurt.”

Virgil, whose wife died, observes, “Men, as little kids, are told not to cry and it carries through. To solve this problem, fathers should let their little boys cry. It doesn’t hurt a thing. It’s an emotion God gives us.”

“Christ was a man’s man,” says Jim Grassi. “Eight of the twelve disciples were fishermen. At times, the disciples wept and they felt grief. They had all the normal emotions that God intended people to have.”

David, a warrior and king, pours out his emotions to God throughout the Psalms: “I am bowed down and brought very low; all day long I go about mourning…. I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart…. For I am about to fall, and my pain is ever with me” (Psalm 38:6, 8, 17).

Almighty God, let my prayer be like David’s prayers. Teach me what manhood really is. Open my heart and mind to want this change. Amen.

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Grieving with Hope
This GriefShare-based book contains short, topical chapters addressing issues that grieving people face but are often hesitant to mention to others; it gently guides people to determine whether they’re grieving in a way that leads to hope and ultimate healing. Look for Grieving with Hope by Samuel Hodges and Kathy Leonard at a local or online bookstore or at griefshare.org/hope.

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