Merry Christmas

Hi Everyone, Wow, it;s been so long since I have posted and I'm so sorry that I have not been around. Since Easter, I have been working hard at my teaching job and hoped that my brother Angel would continue posting since he is the recovering addict. However, he got real sick in July after his move to Southern California and I couldn't bring myself to post about all that because it's real hard to talk about it. He suffered a mini stroke and since that happened, he has not spoken to me. He has changed tremendously and I have really missed him. I saw him the end of July and it felt like my brother just was no longer in his body. He didn't engage in conversation, make jokes like he always does, he no longer has a cell, and no longer connects with me on FB or email. In fact, right before his stroke he unfriended me. I'm not sure why but that was a bad ending. I'm hoping and praying that he returns to his old self but there are many things I'm glad are gone. I have heard from our mom and our sister that he no longer has to be busy 24/7. He was basically ADHD and constantly doing something even though his back gave him bad pain daily, The doctors say that his brain cells suffered which changed his personality. So all this to say that I really pray that this new year you who take pain meds or are addicted that you try to be careful and take meds only as prescribed. I also hope that if you are addicted to street drugs that you get help and try to stop before it's too late like my brother. God bless you as you walk out your sobriety. Lil

Easter, I wish I can remember

It's been a long time since I can remember doing anything for Easter that didn't involve getting loaded. Sure the family gets together and there will always be alcohol there. Plus you know one of the friends or family members will have something else to satisfy the craving. That's the way Easter’s used to be, and someone would always tell me what an ass I was and go on to tell me all the things I said and did which I did not remember "at all". That's what’s nice about being sober. There will never be another sad event like that again. Now I find myself not even wanting to go to family events. Not because of the reminders of the old days but to see certain family members still doing the same old thing- and to think they actually feel they're pulling the wool over someone’s eyes. It's the exact opposite, everyone knows and they are all sick of it and they talk about you when you leave. They may bring up suggestions on how to help you or us in the future. In the meantime the holiday is forgotten. The entire day that should have been full of fun and praise turns out to be a pre-requisite to an intervention or worse. Now I'm just trying to enjoy every minute to live in the "now". When you think about it, it doesn't matter what you did 5-minutes ago or 5-years ago; nor does it matter what you’re going to do tomorrow or next month because the past is history and we can't change it and the future hasn't happened yet nor can we predict what we think is going to happen. The only thing that matters is now. I want to live in the now. The only thing that matters now is what I'm writing and thinking at this very moment. Thanks for the time, Michaelangelo

JESUS STILL HEALS!

God revealed something so amazing to me that I shared with my husband last night. Our healing comes from Jesus, by Jesus, and for Jesus!! It has nothing to do with us! Isn't that great! No more pressure to be anything. It's all about Jesus. He is the one who gets the glory in healing not us! This is the reason people are healed more in 3rd world countries, they know it's about Jesus. In America, we think it's about us and it's so not! Get this revelation and see if God heals you. I love you but more importantly GOD LOVES YOU! Be healed in Jesus name by giving Him the recognition of what He chooses to do or not do. Amen.

Healing Virtues of Honey and Cinnamon - No joke!

Blessings to all you readers: I have something awesome to share with you. Some great information came my way on FB a few days ago and I want to share it with you all. You know how when you have an addiction, you have cravings for that thing, especially alcohol, well it's because you most likely have a glucose problem in your body. Sugar cravings are strong and provoke you to drink. What if you could get that under control naturally, then it would stand to reason that your cravings for alcohol would go away too, right? Let's try it and see. In 2 days this drink taken in morning on an empty stomach and at night 30 minutes before bed has taken away my dizziness, cleared my nose, gotten rid of phlegm, reduced pain in my right side almost to nothing, stopped hot flashes, and I slept all night!!!!!! Wow! Healing virtues of this is amazing. Also it's a weight loss drink and soooooooooo cheap. Just grab whatever honey you have in the house to make this mixture. But heat the water first in a cup, then add 1 tablespoon of honey and 1 teaspoon of cinnamon powder and drink it up. Be healed in Jesus name. By the way, it took away my migraine, stopped the indigestion I had and took away my tummy ache 2 nights ago. This mixture will reduce your cravings for sugar, hence you will not crave the liquor! Let me know your results.

The aftermath of recovery

I know that there are a lot of us who got strung-out on all sorts of different substances, ranging from alcohol, marijuana, heroin, cocaine and meth or crack. Prescription pain medication is where I am lead to speak of. Mainly because I've done all the others and for some "idiotic" reason, when I first started taking pain-meds; of course it was Doctor prescribed for a back injury. This made me think that it was okay, never mind that I took it abusively from the get go. If the Doctor said to take 2-4 every 6-8 hours, I would take 6-8 every 2-4 hours, and then repeat. So I think when we get a "Doctors’" prescription we think- hey, it's okay. Well if you thought like me; know you’re screwed or soon will be. The thing about chronic pain and continuing to require pain medications, because some of us will indeed require the need for meds until surgery or some miraculous procedure is done to rectify the damage done to your body, or in this case "my body". We need to take a stand and be our own judge and jury. Do I want to just sit at home in pain and watch the time go by until my next dosage or do I want to become actively involved in my continued recovery, whether it be; therapy, as little as stretching, light exercise, diet and spiritual guidance. The latter is probably the most important. If I am not right with God, I won't get condemned when I take too many pills or miss my stretching time. Our bodies will just deteriorate if we don't keep moving. I do a lot of little things at home that are very hard for me. I walk and care for my dogs, I vacuum, clean, even showering and doing the bare minimum seems hard on bad days, but I do it, and God loves me for that. God loves us people, so much that he doesn't want us to be invalids. Were no good to anyone when were catatonic. I still want to bless people today as I have been blessed. I don't have much, the bare minimum it seems, but I do have that - and for that I am grateful. I pray your life after recovery can be blessed by the bare minimum. This way we can really appreciate the blessings when they come. Michael Angelo

Begin Again

Have you ever felt like God was moving you from something hurtful to something great? Well, get ready because that's what's coming. God wants to blow your mind and bless you and give you all you need and ask for. Until you recognize that God has forgiven you for all your sins you will not have rest. Give Him the respect He deserves for dieing on the cross for you and taking all your sin to the cross. You don't have to bear it anymore. Be blessed!

Dejection

Oswald Chambers says in his Daily Devotional "My Utmost for His Highest" that dejection comes from us. Yes, us! We want what we want NOW! If we don't get it we blame God or others and even ourselves. However, Chambers says that instead of seeking that answer or thing, we need to seek God Himself and in that moment, we will receive our answer and the dejection will cease. Every time you begin to feel sorry for yourself, go to God in prayer and seek Him and not the thing we think we cannot live without. Blessings. Lilia

Norco

Well recently I had surgery for my foot again and this time it was to take out the hardware that was put in 12/2012 and my doc prescribed Norco again, either 5 or 10mg every 4 to 6 hours for a few days then as needed. I have to say, coming from someone who is not an addict,I can see how this could become addictive. I have not been taking as much for a day now and I can see how my body is wanting it. It's really interesting to a non-addict how I can decipher when exactly my mind is trying to tell my body what it needs. If I have pain, I will take it but if I have no pain, I'm not going to take it just in case. I'm over the worst part so time to reassess what I really need.

The Mastery of Love by Miguel Ruiz

I read yesterday that our mind tries to tell the body what it needs. How absurd is that? The mind can't feel hunger, cold, anger, or love. Only the body FEELS! So when your mind is messing with you, check the status of your basic physical needs and see if the mind lines up. The mind might tell you to kill yourself but the body fights the urge. Because the mind is tricking you to try and believe a lie from the devil. Tell the devil to go to hell and put down the pills, the gun, the needle. Speak to your self out loud what God says about you and you will feel stronger and better shortly after like I did today. God help us to tell the mind to shut up. If your mind is telling you to take another bite but your stomach is full. Who are you going to believe?

What to do with your co-dependant

One thing I have noticed since I have changed my ways of using and abusing. The people that used to have to "took care of me" so to say. You know what I mean; the wife, sister, parent or good friend that would always be there to bail you out of bad situations- like helping me cover a bill or funding some cash till next pay day. Or even someone that we would have call our boss because we knew we were not going to be able to go into work that day.  Yeah, those people, what happens to them when they can't obsess or control or take care of me or you. They suddenly feel they have no purpose or they don't have anything to do. They find ways to start controlling other situations, whether it be the way things are done in the home or the planning of specific events, You see the co-dependant is often times more screwed up than the addict because that feeling of need and doing good has become useless. Theres no need to take care of an addict when he or she takes their life back and wants to control their own destiny. What has to happen is the co-dependant, just like the addict; has to get their own life back. They have to find things to do that are healthy and productive in their own lives. They need to stop thinking about the addict. Let Go!

This is why you often find out that "Joe got sober so Mary left him", you would think all things should be back to normal after you get clean and sober. The marriage usually doesn't work out because "Joe" got sober but "Mary" didn't get help with her co-dependency. Often times the co-dependant thinks that what their doing is out of love not co-dependency. It's so important that the closest people to the addict or alcoholic get help. The odds are that 78% don't get help and that is why we see so many marriages that fall apart after the addict gets clean. There are so many programs out there that offer help in this area. First you want to find out if you are co-dependant. Check this web-site and see if it rings any bells;  http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/signs-of-a-codependent-relationship , here is another that may help mothers who have had issues with their sons or daughters;  http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/little_prince.htm . All of the parents out there who have lost or damaged relationships with their adult addict children can benefit by the extensive amount of information that is out there on this topic. It all boils down to the question we need to ask ourselves; do we want to be in control? or do we want to be happy?

Michael Angelo