The feeling after

I know things have gone wrong when I've been on a 3-day bender "binge"and my bank account is bone-dry, my wife can't take it anymore, she's already threatening to leave.  We were all supposed to go to a "memorial day" family celebration. I know no-one wants to go with me after what I've done "once again", my wife has already told the kids that their Daddy is sick.  But all I can think of is going to that party because there's booze there, and maybe some ones got a little something extra to make me feel better. 


I go ahead and go by myself, why not, I'm an addict. Then to make matters worse - after I've had a few, I start telling everyone what a terrible wife I have "that's why she's not there" thus driving a deeper wedge into the marriage. Why do I do this?  To make myself look better to others, then maybe people will even "console me".  But they'll  find out the truth, soon enough. Women have a network that travels at high speed.


This is just one little story of what I used to do. There's a lot of us out there whom I know can relate to this little story of despair. 
Reach out to others, cry out to God if you have to, do something to change this torturous journey. "The first step in any journey begins with a single step". It's the same for recovery. The first step is admitting there is a problem. 


Take that first step today.


Thank you, Michael Angelo

Week-end Jitters

Here's a real dilemma. I've already made commitments to my "using" buddies, it's now Friday morning. I can either commit to my Family           responsibilities and commitments that I made to them weeks ago, or to the guys & women I was with at the bar last night remember, "prime-night".  


I'm even thinking about calling in sick, because I'm already making myself feel like crap because of all the decisions and thoughts going through my head. I don't feel like eating because I'll probably throw it up anyway. 


I've got the jitters bad, because I need a drink or something to make me feel better. So this is when I realize "I've got a problem" I need to tell my wife or my Boss, or someone.


This is the crucial time time in ones life when we make that life-changing decision to- either get some help, or shrug it off and stay out there.


I know what decision I made years ago, what decision are you going to make today. Reach out and tell someone what's going on inside your head.


Make the right decision, "RECOVERY"


Thank you and God Bless


Michael Angelo  

Prime Night

When I was using, we always had a specific day that was special to us, it was for some reason, "Thursday night" we called it prime-night for what ever reason, something would always be happening on Thursday night, so it would in some way "prime us up for the week-end" thus creating "prime-night".  Anyway, it was never a good thing. Sometimes you would prime yourself out of work on Friday, therefore creating a 3-day weekend. Another reason to love "prime-night".


Now your drug of choice is really getting some good marketing. Oh yeah, Satan knows about good marketing, it's one of his majors. Now we find ourselves stretching our week-end out to 3-1/2 days. Oh yeah, don't forget the dreaded Monday that follows. Oh my Gosh, who wants to go back to work after partying for 3-1/2 days. Oh no, you better call in sick. Listen to this fact; "George Washington University" did a study in 2007 and found that 75% of our work force drink heavily. This equates to 9.6 million people lose an average of 36 hrs. a month of "work -time loss due to alcohol or drugs". Think about it, that kind of means we are almost calling in sick once a week. Sounds about right for what I was doing.


Lord help us. This is serious people. Some of us justify it and say "I've got vacation time I need to use or lose" so why not use it. or I love hearing people that say, well I never really ever call in sick, so what the hell. What they mean is "they've never really been sick, a hangover isn't really being sick". I've heard it all, being in management for over 16 years in the manufacturing industry- you hear every excuse known to man. I know people that have had 3-4 sets of Grand-parents pass away, or wives that have given birth to babies twice in one year. Yeah, we addicts & alcoholics aren't that smart when it comes to memory.


Please, realize what your doing to yourself and others when we use. Think about it when you agree to go have "one drink" on a Thursday night. we are in big trouble with this problem, the bad-guys are winning.  Lets allow the good guys to get some leverage in our lives. 

Fighting the demons

For "addicts" the demons can be a lot of different things other than Satan himself.  It could be  "the urge"  or "the trigger" or maybe even the smell of a familiar scent  that you had when you were using. Perhaps a chemical smell of some-kind would  trigger your brain into having a craving, you wouldn't even know it was happening  until you found yourself on your way to score, that's when something happens to  us and we have what we call  "a moment of clarity" . This moment of clarity, to me is when God speaks to us and kind of gives us the  option to "get out" of  this  obsessiveness of scoring. Even the act of attempting to  use has an attractive romanticizing process to it.   If your like me, you know what  that  is,  you know that feeling. This is the feeling that's really hard to fight,   because at this point-  you haven't really done anything yet.  But your flesh senses  "it's coming"  This is where we must stop and say "God help me to resist this  temptation"  The Lord always comes through for us in this time of desperation. Although, we  are the ones that  have to make the decision. It's literally good verses evil. I pray that good triumphs over evil in your life today, and in mine as well. Michael Angelo

On your way through recovery

Okay, now you've got step one under your belt. Your hopefully going to some meetings now, or maybe church CR "celebrate recovery", you've got a sponsor, you better have one. Your now getting some ammunition and tools for fighting off impulses and urges and re-directing bad thoughts.


Now I would suggest getting tight with someone (preferably someone of the same sex) Usually this is the sponsor, but doesn't have to be. Remember, a sponsor most likely has other addicts he or she is working with. It just helps because you want to be able to have that phone number by your bed-side when things get really bad,  remember you should already have a phone list from your local home-group, if not "get-one"  You may be having dreams of using, drinking, whatever your "DOC" (drug of choice) was. Don't worry too much- this is normal. Use the numbers, don't worry about the time, all addicts understand. They've been there too.


Get involved in activities, i.e.; bowling, fund-raising, whatever the group has in their agenda. Most A-A organizations have an activity list. Basically this allows you to start learning how to have fun without getting hammered, also "being of service"  which is one of the A-A traditions, from making coffee to cleaning up after meetings.


All these things mentioned are to assist you in your recovery. If you do as suggested, your chances of re-lapse reduce "BIG-TIME" you may even start liking it. I know I did. Why not, your around people that can relate to you, they talk the same as you, they understand you, and they really will learn to Love you if you just "be honest" starting with yourself.


Good Luck, and God Bless.


Michael Angelo

First step of Addiction rcovery

It doesn't really matter what your drug of choice may be. Alcohol, cocaine, pills, meth, It's all the same, you know it's tearing you up inside.  It just doesn't have anything good that comes from it, other than that  "Initial Buzz" and we keep searching for it. So we keep doing it and doing it, the next thing you know 5-10 years has gone by and you really don't know how you ended up losing all your loved ones, your job, your money, your dignity and your respect- towards yourself as well as others.


You realize you need help. Maybe you've done some terrible things during that time to sustain your habit, like lying to your boss about why you can't come to work, cash withdrawals from credit cards, making up excuses and borrowing money from family. This is why it's so hard for most of us to take that initial step in recovery. We just don't want anyone to find out. It's that "pride" that holds us back. All those things must come out. We need to be free from that "self-guilt".


That first step is the hardest. There are people and organizations that can help. We don't have to live like that anymore. The first step to getting help is admitting that we have a problem. 


Please reach out and get the help you need,


Michael Angelo

Addictions with the help of the doc.

When we find ourselves addicted to drugs, alcohol, or whatever.....we don't normally know we are addicted.  However, eventually our significant other tells us that we are addicts and then our family members, then our manager at our jobs. and our pastor.  You get the message..  Anyway, eventually if we want to get better we start going to meetings and getting help, right?  We hear stories, testimonies, people are hurting, and those people sitting next to you might even be co-dependent....duh!  What I'm trying to say is we all have our reasons for using, abusing, and controlling.  But we all want to get better, well not everyone wants to get better.  If we do, then we begin therapy, 12 Step programs, going back to church, and getting a sponsor.  This is where it all begins.  The other thing I want to mention is that we sometimes become addicted because of health reasons.  For instance, if your doc puts you on pain meds, like House...then you start popping your Codeine.  Or, Vicodin  and then you realize that your doctor helped get you addicted..Wow, that's just peachy.  Thanks doc!  If this is you, I would like to introduce you to a friend of mine who is in the situation exactly. Michael Angelo just started writing his book about how he got to that place but check out his blog and get acquainted. http://filantrypicopman-painsuffering.blogspot.com/

Co-Dependency

How do we stop trying to control others?  We do this by focusing on ourselves.  Is this easy? No, it's not easy.  We tend to want to stop looking at ourselves and look at what our significant other is doing.  We have to remember that we can only control the actions of our self.  We are not to blame for the choices other people make.  We are not to blame if how they treat us is abusive.  But we are responsible to get out of a bad situation. If you stick around the abuser and you're not an addict, then perhaps you are sicker than you think.  It is important to find support in others that we can count on.  However, that someone needs to be healthy.  Support groups like AA, Al-Anon, and Celebrate Recovery are just some of those options.  There is also counseling and therapy that we can take advantage of to stay on the right path to recovery.  If we don't step out in faith and get the help we need, nothing will change. That first step is always hard but it's the best decision you will ever make. When we sit amongst others and listen to their stories, we sometimes realize that we don't have it so bad after all.  We also sometimes see how we have ignored situations and hoped for the best.  Hoping does not change the present or the future.  We must act!  When we act, we get results.  In order to do what's best for our self we must weigh the options and choose the path that is the most rewarding. The path of peace will set us free.  Today, we must let go and let God. However, when you get to that door that you are afraid to walk through, step into it.  Take that leap of faith. Get the help you so desperately deserve and need.  Don't be afraid to walk alone, God is with you.  Even though you can't see Him, he is right there waiting for you to trust Him.  Let Him show you the way today. Ask Him what to do next.  He will quickly show you.  Say this with me. 

God, what do you want me to do today?  God, will you show me the way today? 

Watch God work in your life.  Remember, we can't tell God, we must ask. That is the secret to His presence in your life.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference. Keep coming back. It works!

The Mission of Filantrypico™ and Mi Corazon Espinado™

Mi Corazon Espinado™, a branch of Finaltrypico™, endeavors to reach out to those people suffering with addiction, weather it be; drugs, obesity, pornography, smoking, drinking, you name it. Anything that is holding you back and keeping you from your day-to-day commitments and responsibilities is an "addiction". If you can admit that the addiction is more powerful than you, then you have a problem and you've made the first step. We want to help!!!  In such ways as: connecting you with loving experienced addicts that can get you started on your road to change. We can also help you find places to go for immediate assistance, meetings, and support groups, and help you seek out sober living environments. If your ready to start your life a-new, we want to help you get there. Addicts say, "it's the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but if you do it, it will be the most rewarding and gratifying thing you've ever done". Not only for you, but your family, God, and friends that love and care about you.