Dinner With a Former Drunk by Matt McMillen

“Always be prepared to give an answer for the hope that you have. But do so with gentleness and respect”

See 1 Peter 3:15

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A good friend of mine who I grew up with was in town a while back. When he was here, he texted me, and invited me out for dinner. It’s always good to see him and catch up on each other’s lives in person. Social media is great, but there’s nothing quite like having dinner face-to-face with a friend.

As we sat down to order our drinks, I told the server, “I’ll have a Diet Coke,” and my friend hesitated. After eyeing the long list of beers on tap, he asked me, “Do you care if I drink?”

“Of course not.”

“Okay, I’ll have a Boulevard,” which was one of my old favorite beers.

The server came back with our drinks, and he started to ask me some questions about my sobriety.

“Are you sure you don’t care if I drink?” He paused, as he slowly brought the tall beer to his mouth.

“Why would I care?”

“You know…” he hesitated once again, as if he wanted to say, “Because you write books on alcohol abuse.”

“Mike, why would I want to stop you from enjoying a couple beers?” He looked at me strangely as he sat the beer back down after taking a sip. I continued, “If I was allergic to shellfish, do you think I should get upset with you for enjoying a nice bowl of shrimp fettuccini?”

“Well, no.”

“So why should I get upset with you for drinking beer?”

“Ah, okay. I see what you’re saying.”

“Truth be told, in Jesus’ first recorded miracle, He created alcohol. So obviously alcohol is not the problem. It’s the person who turns alcohol into an idol in their lives by replacing their dependance on Christ with alcohol.”

By the look on his face, I could see the cogs start to pick up steam in his head.

“So does Jennifer still drink? That wouldn’t be very fair to you if she did.”

I replied with a smile, “Why wouldn’t it be fair? She’s doesn’t struggle with alcoholism.”

“Oh yeah. I guess you’re right. So you don’t get mad at her when she does drink?”

“Why would I get mad at someone for drinking? First of all, I have no control over that, plus, she doesn’t drink like I did. She has a glass or two of wine, maybe once a week–if that. When I drank, I drank bottles of wine, multiple times a week, usually hers! Heck, I’d drink anything I could get my hands on!”

“Yeah ya did! I remember that!” he exclaimed.

“Exactly! That’s why I don’t do it now!” We both laughed pretty hard, as we both knew how much of a lush I acted like.

“So how long have you been sober now?”

“Over three years, and it feels great. I actually enjoy not drinking. It’s so much better for me.”

“That’s awesome bud,” he said to me proudly.

I finished up the conversation about drinking, “Mike, there is nothing wrong with alcohol, at all. But there is something wrong with me drinking it. I can’t. When I enjoy it, I can’t control it. And when I control it, I can’t enjoy it. So I just don’t drink.”

“I got you, Matt. That’s cool,” and we moved on.

After the awkwardness of the alcohol issue was over, we had a nice dinner, catching up and talking about old times.

A prayer for you: Heavenly Father, thank you for my sobriety. If I had known how much better life would be by me NOT being controlled by a liquid, I would have given it up a long time ago. But even still, you were extremely patient with me as you taught me that getting drunk all the time would never match up with my spirit. Thank you for your grace, thank you for your unconditional love, and thank you for never giving up on me. You stayed committed to me, and I’m so grateful. Right now, I lift up all who are reading this, directly to you. For those who are battling an addiction today–any addiction–help them. Help them to realize that as a believer, you have ALREADY set them free from everything that controls them. All they have to do is live that freedom out! They think they are a prisoner to this thing, but they’re not! That’s a lie from Satan himself! The prison doors are wide open! They are sitting in that cell, and yet, a warm breeze is right outside that doorway! THEY’RE FREE! All they have to do is step out! IT’S OPEN!…Just…step out. They might not KNOW that you’ve freed them, but you have. Reveal this truth to them. Teach them about their freedom, today. In Jesus’ name, amen.

This devotional is from 60 Days for Jesus, Volume 3. Get your copy here!

Michael

Good Evening Followers!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while but life has been throwing me some curve balls these last few years. In 2016, we moved, 2017 my mom passed away and this year Michael was arrested and spent 6 months in jail and is now in a facility but doing really well! I wanted to give you all an update on him because he used to love to post on this blog. He will again soon!

 Anyway, he suffered quite a few mini strokes and because of them, he was like a vegetable in many ways. He would just stay in his room watching tv all day. All he wanted to do was eat and watch television. He started going to the doctors and they suggested he get some brain help by getting therapy but his wife had enough and was just done helping him.

 Years went by and he began to get irritated. He started wanting to go out a bit and buy junk food, get cigarettes, and just have some control back in his life. I guess his brain started coming back to life after a while. He started telling his wife he needed money and she wouldn't give him any of his disability check which was quite large. She kept telling him they couldn't afford it. He started finding ways to get what he needed by sneaking money from her purse, borrowing from a neighbor, and just bugging her. She started giving him $40 a month which was not enough.

He eventually would share with me that he was getting tired of feeling like a prisoner in his own home. I suggested to him to go to the bank and put his money back into his own account but he just never did it. I don't now if he was scared, or just didn't know where the bank was. It started to really eat away at him though. He started telling me that he wanted to leave her and a few months later he asked me if he could move in with me or my son. We tried to make it work out for him but he was so anxious that he just couldn't wait anymore. He packed his suitcase and told his wife that he wanted his money, the keys to the car, and his ID. Her and her daughters kept ignoring his requests and telling him to wait a few more months. He just could not do it. He was wasting away and getting more and more angry.

A few weeks later, he finally had had it and he threatened her after she again put him off. He ended up holding a knife up to her to scare her and she called the police. He ran from the house before the police arrived but he had taken her phone too. He called her on the land line I guess and she told him to come back. He was scared and so he did. He was arrested and it looked pretty bad for him mainly due to taking the cell phone. She told the police that she didn't want him in jail but that he needed help and needed to be in a facility.

 The DA and his public defender and the judge finally agreed after I wrote a letter to the judge, and a professional medical evaluation, and a letter from Michael to the judge. Thank God they listened because jail was not what he needed. He spent 6 months and I had to intervene a few times and get him transferred due to his inability to follow rules due to his memory. He was scared and they decided to take me seriously and moved him to LA where he got help.

He is now in a facility doing really well learning a lot, going to meetings, and working the program. He's been there 3 months and he is on his first weekend out on his own. He called me and was so excited to have some freedom. He has had his money back since he entered the facility and he has even paid off a tax debt and is excited to make agreements to pay off his medical bills. Him and his wife will never see each other again unless its in court for a divorce. He's glad about that because together they were very unhealthy. I'm so proud of how far he's come.

I share this story to tell you that if he can come back to life after such a scary 9 months and the prison like life he had living in his home then you can too. Don't give up hope. Don't resort to threats, get help, get your life back and ask for help. You are loved. God bless you, Lilia

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Please take a look at my new workbook, "15 Steps to Wholeness" I think it will inspire you to stay on course as you study the Psalms of Ascent. Only God can save you and keep you on track. https://smile.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=15+steps+to+wholeness

God bless you, Lilia

Starting Over

SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by MARSHA BURNS: Reset! It is time to recognize the need to start over. Wipe the slate clean and begin again by getting your priorities in order and doing what is important for this season. Everything in the past has brought you to this point in your life. Take stock of what you want to take with you into the next phase of your existence and what you want to leave behind, and then do it. Be brave and resolute, says the Lord. Isaiah 50:7 "For the Lord GOD will help Me; therefore I will not be disgraced; therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I will not be ashamed." It's okay to start over again. As long as you are not doing the same thing over again and again. With the way things are out there in the world, we must try and forget the former things and press on. So much heartache and bad news that we can doing nothing about is not worth thinking about. If you want to change the outcome of the future-become active and a great leader for others. A hero if the opportunity arises and a prayer warrior daily for all those who may need your covering. Bless you as you start over tomorrow. Lilia

Christmas With Family

Christmas can be a difficult time for many addicts and co-dependents during family gatherings or when you find yourself alone during these holidays. If you are alone during these these next few weeks, remember that there are others out there sharing your feelings. The only way you can find each other is by getting to a meeting or finding a site online that connects all of you. Blogs such as mine, as well as other sites that can help you through. Visit http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/best-alcoholism-blogs for more information. I was quite the co-dependent in my previous marriage but I am much better now but I still seek help from God through prayer, church, and some great Christian books and devotionals that keep me grounded. It is difficult in certain situations but all we can do is keep trying to be better. Dealing with ex's and addicted grown children as well as family members that are just plain mean can also be stressful and cause you to want to use or become controlling. The key is to let go and let God. It works every time. I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and pray for each and every one of you that God softens your heart, that he delivers you from wanting to use or wanting to control others. I pray for His divine intervention in your life and for your protection. I pray that you have food, a warm bed, and someone that you can be with during this time of year. If you need me, I'm here for you. All you have to do is leave a comment and I will do my best to be a friend. Blessings, Lilia

The Psalms of Ascent

Good Morning Readers, I know it's been a long time but I've been super busy with grant writing, being a virtual special education teacher, a wife, and a mom, and grandmother. But I have had revelation of how the Psalms of Ascent can help all of us addicts, recovering addicts, and co-dependents. I have just finished writing a work book on the Psalms of Ascent and I can't wait to share it with all of you. Until then, read psalms 120-134 slowly and pray and ask God to show you their true meaning back to wholeness. God desires to help us and heal us as He draws us closer to Himself. I pray you are all blessed this Veteran's Day. Lilia