Learn to "Go-Without" so you can grow from within.

The world is filled with broken promises, misleading assumptions and week to week broken commitments. What we have to do as recovering addicts and alcoholics is to get past those days of relying on other people to help us out. Out of Love, they want to help, but they have their own commitments and priorities in life.  I'm sorry to say, I'm not important enough to some, and definitely not to the many, but I only need to answer to One.

We have learned by our conning days, how to actually get people to help us with a few dollars here and there. But if you ever want to ruin a family relationship; just borrow a large enough sum of money and don't pay it back. You will see that relationship crumble like a dried up piece of corn bread.

We need to take care of ourselves. As hard as it is sometimes, we need to figure out ways to do the impossible-without help from anyone, especially family. They will not always be there. Even though a lot of us are sober and doing the best we can, we think by doing that, people will help us. We have what professionals call, "A sense of entitlement" Why? because were trying so hard. Well that's why they call it life, and not Fun. It's hard to survive, it's harder when were recovering. I know, I'm trying and I myself still ask for help from family. Sometimes they can, sometimes they can't. Sometimes they want to but other family members get to them first. It just becomes a viscous cycle of asking one family member, then asking another to help so you can pay off the first person. It's like our own little "Ponsi-Sceem".

The best thing we can do for ourselves sometimes is to just go without. We have a "go" campaign at the church I attend, and this week it's "go without" of course it's supposed to be so you /me can help someone else. The problem is "I'm the one that needs help" It's ironic. But just going without tends to build character. I don't care if you have a child or not, the same applies. Yes, your child is suffering because you/me can't support her or him because we haven't learned to manage our own lives. This will build character. Not only in us, but in that child as well.

So stop relying on help from family, sometimes they just can't do it. They may  or they may not really want to help.  Have you ever asked them that? I would say most of them can't be truthful. I remember when I had to tell my Son, "I can't help you anymore" I meant it too. Well he learned to survive without my help, imagine that. Remember, God is there, he's always there.

Michael Angelo