Thank God for AA Meetings

OK, well I went to an AA meeting tonight and boy was I taken down a few pegs.  I heard one woman say that in the past she would not take care of herself just so she could get pain meds. I finally understand that statement. So when you are told to take care of yourself and rest your leg or your back or your foot and you don't do it but instead you tell your doctor that you need drugs~you have just set yourself up for failure with your sobriety. However, like this woman shared, she knew exactly what she was doing and she is now trying to take care of her broken leg so that she doesn't need the pain meds.

And when you get to step 5 and it takes forever or you just keep going back to step 4, there is a reason for this.  Its hard to trust someone and tell them everything you have done wrong to people, especially people you love. 

Although I'm not an addict, I have been a co-dependent person.  It is not my job to fix anyone.  It is not my job to judge anyone.  It is not my job to try and understand the life of an addict because I have never been one.  However, it is my job to "Let go and let God".  It is my job to love the addict but not the addiction.  It is my job to only fix myself.  I choose to call Jesus Christ as my higher power and He is the only one who can fix me.  I am sorry to any addict that I have not done this with.  I was wrong!  Please forgive me. It is not my job to fix you or pray that you will one day be like me.  I know now that will never happen.I love you regardless. I will continue to pray for you.

I have learned that I need to trust in order to live.  And that's what I am going to do and have been doing with my walk with God. It feels great!  Walk by faith, not by sight!